Song of the Ages

Say What, Now

So, we didn’t die. Not to take undue pride in my abilities or anything, but the thing I wrote about last time wasn’t as horrifying as I thought it would be.

Let me try to start over. We made it to the Blackhull and ran into a lady dark elf kicking ass—you know I feel about ladies kicking ass—and later in the day, she approached us about a quest. She wanted to go through the Mad Wizard’s Gambit to retrieve a sword, and you know how I feel about quests that potentially have treasure at the end.We agreed to help, but on the way, got ambushed by some tabaxi. Ironically, the first group let us go, and a few hours later, we were encouraged (with the threat of violence) to follow the second group. Our bard tried to talk himself out, really. I think that in the end though, it was the tiefling that sweet talked our way out of being killed. I think. I can’t remember at this point.

At any rate, we bargained our way into the Mad Wizard’s Gambit in exchange for the sun sword—and this is where our dark elf friend Vashaya told us she intends to keep it for herself. Something about revenge and lost loves and dark coins. Pretty sure she had to kill her lover because someone had gotten hold of her coin, and she had no choice in the matter. I’d want revenge too, in all fairness.

When we went through the labyrinth, I think I expected fire and ice and doom around every corner, but we managed alright. There was a point where Gerardt (oh—Gerardt we found petrified on our way through the forests the tabaxi occupy. He’d been caught by the gaze of a basilisk and trapped for about 30 years or so, but agreed to come with us through the Gambit) touched a door and transported through to another area of the maze and for reasons I still don’t understand, the bard, tiefling, and amazingly, Yoon, all followed through. I gave Vashaya this look, and the next thing I knew, we were fighting a fire demon.

We managed to destroy it with little damage, finding our way back to the original door that had transported us. Guess who decided to just touch the door again. I think I’m losing my mind, because instead of certain death, this time we ended up in a room where there appeared to be loot (and we all know how I feel about loot). I found a rapier that talks to me. Vashaya found her sword, but we also happened to find the mad wizard who had created this place. Everyone kept saying he was “probably dead”, and I think I knew better. I’m pretty sure I cursed when we realized who he was, and the tiefling couldn’t sweet talk our way out of this one.

Cue a many eyed monster trying to kill us, but if I found a rapier, the bard had found his own weapon, and we got away from the thing unscathed. (Right? Wow.)

Why do we do these things to ourselves. Do we have to save the world now? Also, Vashaya gave her poison daggers to Yoon, and I’m jealous.

I hate everything right now.

Rip van Wizards

Rip van Wizards

Is there something about wizards that makes them more likely to be frozen in time? We de-petrified the professor on purpose. That turned out to be a good thing. He was a useful companion while we were traversing the vault. We released the lich on accident. So far, nothing bad has happened. I can’t imagine it turns out wonderfully though.

In any case, it’s another job done. We got the girl the sword and earned a black coin. The loot from the venture is nice, but we really need to turn the black coin into something more valuable. Like a bunch of regular coins.

Accessories and Costumes

I’ve been thinking a little about how I appear. Dressing well while being unarmed might become a problem. Then I found this fun new staff. I’m no longer unarmed, but when I wear the staff with the suit I just look like an old man who needs a walking stick. If I wear robes while carrying the staff, then I look more like a wizard. Also, I don’t look like I’m carrying a bunch of money. I’m hoping people will assume my bag is full of reagents and books and wizard stuff. Rather than money and books and business stuff.

Uncertain death

When I first arrived in Redford I was preoccupied by my financial situation. I was watching my savings melt away before my eyes. I felt like I was drowning and starving to death at the same time. To be clear, it never got so bad that I missed a meal, but my anxiety was overwhelming. My whole life was unsustainable, and I was going to die. Things got a little better when I ganged up with Fulgen and those trouble-making girls. We had some sort of income, but we were still loosing money on every venture. I’ll admit, I was panicking on the inside. Sometime around when we were imprisoned, things started to change for me. I’m a little more content to live day to day. I only compare the content of our purses to my records once or twice a day anymore. It’s good to have people to rely on.

I wonder how Colonel is getting along with Nameia.

End of the Line

We’re going on a treasure hunt and I’m pretty sure we’re going to die.

Bad to Worse

There’s just no letting up this shitstorm.

Baron Aldren Mengis is dead. Yoon has been framed for it, which I would like to reiterate. She’s been framed. Sometime after getting back to the city, her knife went missing and a little thief did a spectacular job of drawing attention to himself, and we let the town guard take care of it, though Yoon would have loved to cut off the boy’s fingers (among other things, I’m sure) herself. We decided it would be prudent to see the baron immediately, and upon arrival, were told that we were expected?—How would we be expected? I got that feeling as we went to his study, and the room was dark. He was sitting at the end.

He wasn’t moving. I think I knew he was dead before the rest of me realized.

Cue the guard rushing in to arrest us and the four us jumping out the window. Cue this particular moment to see that yes, indeed, the baron was dead, but there was no weapon—I would find out later that the tiefling took the knife. I still don’t know if that was a good idea, but said tiefling and our other companion, the bard, were caught. Ironic really, that Yoon and I were the ones to get away. I feel like we’ll always be running.

We went to see if we could find help from the lady witch Nameia. By the time we came up with a plan, we found out that our bard and tiefling duo had escaped. The bard said Renhart Bradley tried to blow them up, but didn’t use enough gunpowder. I knew he was a rookie.

And yet, we’re still wanted..

Nameia told us we should go to a place called Black Hull. I think that’s what it’s called, but we thought first to stop at Lorentzian. I had a feeling that having Scratch’s backing might be a good idea, but I also talked myself into killing the leader of the Silence? I mean, don’t get me wrong; I’d do anything for Scratch, and he knows it—I just meant that this man wasn’t even a man. He was a fucking demon.______

In all fairness, I’m no rookie. We had some help in the form of Big and Crystal, but between us, we took him down. I just mean, isn’t anything as it seems? Does everything have to be evil reincarnate, masquerading as some poor, pathetic mortal being?

Transcript of Certificate of Birth and Title

A transcript of the document given to the heroes intended to be delivered to the late Baron Aldren Mengis

Certificate of Birth and Title

On this, the twenty-third day of Sestenmar, in the year of the soveriegnty of Cana 1087, we the undersigned bear witness to the birth and dedication of

Pontus Erin Mengis

Born on Lunsday, the fifteenth day of Sestenmar of this same year, dedicated under the sign of Syr Evan, son of

Aldren Riel Mengis

Lord Baron of Redford and Two Lakes


Selena Rikke

no title

Upon the death, retirement or lawful deposition of the honorable Baron Mengis, the titles and deeds of his office shall pass to the child, in accordance with the laws of the Kingdom of Cana and the will of the Seven.

We the undersigned to bear witness to this legal arrangement, may Samar bind us when we pass before his place of judgement .


Aldren Mengis
Solomon Rhines
Emmerson Kinsley

Goodbye Sidekick

Today, marked one of the greatest moments in our dinky party’s history. Anya FINALLY left. It was as if the heavens had opened and the great mystical squid deity granted by wish. She can go spread her religion and incredibly boring stories with someone else! I swear if she had made me listen to another one of her childhood stories about Gilly, I would have thrown a dagger right between her perfect little eyes. Also, what kind of nickname is Gilly? Don’t people know nicknames are meant to strike fear into people not make them laugh.

P.S. Dragon boy left and now Wyllo has a broken heart. HAHA. Pathetic.

Unexpected, pt. II

I still hate kobolds.

P.S. Qelroth Delmirev (and Anya) left us. I think I gave him a charming smile and said something like, “Watch out for bandits. You won’t have someone like me watching your back for a while.”

Let’s pretend I said that. He’s also apparently a knight, so I’m thinking knights wouldn’t appreciate thieves, so I’ll stick with having a very charming smile and witty banter.

I’m pretty sure that without Qelroth and Anya, we are going to have our asses handed to us in future battles.

P.P.S. We defeated a dragon. We saved some kids. Yoon and I are currently broke because this job is more hazard and less than enough pay. Barons are apparently stingier than I thought.

Is it time to say it’s not worth it? Is it time to quit?

Fulgen's Fable

Once upon a time, there was a child who was captured by a horrible monster. The monster took the child to its lair and prepared to cook it for supper. But, the clumsy monster forgot to lock the child’s cage, and the child escaped.

The child ran through the woods until they came to a farm, where they asked a farmer how to find their way home. The farmer pointed the child to the road so that they could find their way home. On the road it began to rain, but a passing merchant gave the child some rations and a warm coat. When the child was nearing home, the monster followed closely on the child’s trail. Right as the monster was about to catch up to the child and devour them, a knight saw the child in peril and came and slew the monster by chopping its head off with their sword.

When the child got home they told their parents all about what had happened on their journey. The parents loudly cursed Kurshid for the many times that their child had been imperiled. To their surprise, Kurshid herself appeared before them. She said, “you’re right, I could have done a lot more than weakening the latch on the child’s cage, sending a rainstorm to hide the child’s scent from the monster, and breaking a knight’s horseshoe so that he would be delayed and meet the child on the road. Next time you can go save your child yourselves.”


I may have discovered a strategy that can put any endeavor in the black. It goes like this: Kill things and take their valuables.

Most recently, the things we’re killing are: kobolds, orcs, and bandits. I suppose they are guilty of some serious crimes. Abducting children. Highway robbery. I also suppose we are authorized by the local authority. I still can’t help feeling that this whole situation is morally troublesome. Not this situation specifically. These kobolds are trouble. It is the best thing for this region for these kobolds to be stopped, and lethal force seems appropriate. I am referring to the general idea. Being an adventurer is being a predator. Since there is no profit in traveling or sight seeing, we must kill to survive. The law distinguishes between bandits and us. I’m sure the kobolds can’t tell the difference.


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