Now, look down in here, will you? You see how this stout’s head is thick and foamy like this? Helps you really see the quality without even having to taste it, though I’ll be doing plenty of that too. After all, someone needs to make sure that Bree’s not watering down her drinks. Word gets out that she’s doing that and our reputation will be just undone faster than… What? I was in the middle of a topic quite near and dear to my heart and you want to hear more about heaven? If you hadn’t bought me this drink, I’d be insulted. What’s with that look? Ah, I see, you don’t believe what you heard about us going to meet the Aegis, do you? Well, I can’t convince you, but I can tell you the story so you’ve at least heard it from the horse’s mouth rather than gossip.
So, we’d just come back from Hell. We had some trouble with a crystal that Fulgen brought back from there, mostly because Fulgen actually got possessed by it, but fortunately we found him, subdued him and exorcized him before he could get into too much trouble. After that, we were contemplating where to go and what to do now. We had two of the three relics we knew that northern lich was after, but we weren’t too sure where to find the last one or if doing so would be a good idea. I mean, we didn’t have much of a plan aside from interfering with that undead wizard’s plans, but what if we were actually doing him a favor by gathering the items, or what would we do once we actually had them? He’s undead, so he could just wait until we’re all old and feeble and he’d be able to grab them from us.
It was in the middle of these questions that we suddenly found ourselves snatched up and plopped into the midst of the Aegis plus some. Now, I’ve talked a time or two about how I feel about your surface gods and all, but when you’re standing and facing one, you’ve got to at least respect the pure power you feel radiating off of them like heat from a forge. I might not worship any of them, before or after meeting them, but doesn’t mean I don’t respect their might and their goals. They spoke long and hard, perhaps too long but who was I to complain in the middle of this? Summed up, they knew about the lich and his plan, and they feared his success could destroy the world. However, they couldn’t interfere directly and had to rely on us to continue with what we were doing, even granting each of us a blessing to help us in doing that. Additionally, we found out that the last relic we needed was somewhere in one of the heavenly planes and, once we had them all gathered, we’d have to take them to the City of the Dead, no less. At that point, the gods could destroy the War God’s heart to deprive the lich of his end goal.
Oh, I never mentioned that, did I? So, you know that the gods can die, right? It’s not a big secret since it’s happened twice in mortal memory. But what happens to the spark of their power, their heart? Apparently that can’t be destroyed. So, when old Eadwig went mad and had to be killed, they couldn’t destroy his tainted heart. Instead, the gods simply hid it in a vault hidden somewhere and locked up by three relics scattered across the planes and the knowledge of how to retrieve them hidden in five sacred tomes, yadda yadda yadda. But we’d gathered those tomes, we learned of the vault and already had two of the relics. So if we could find it, so could his Deadness up north. So the gods finally found a way to destroy Eadwig’s heart rather than let the lich have his way and ascend to ultimate godhood. We just had to open the vault for them.
So, yeah. That was the plan. The gods sent us to Arcadia and we spent… you know, I don’t know rightly how long we were there. Some time, but time is funny there. And I wasn’t fixed on keeping time, I was more fixed on the wild perfection of the forest there. One of the residents there even foraged up some fruit and shared it with us. I swear, I never gave much thought to how I’d like to spend eternity, but for fruit like that, I just might start hoping I end up there. I wish I had brought some back, if just to try to brew some brandy with it or something. Fruit like that deserves to be properly fermented.
Now, apparently the gods had long ago planted some special tree somewhere in the forest to hide the last relic and we had to find it, but once we did, what did we find but an actual dragon’s lair built around it! I understand that it must be hard to keep an entire plane free of all things evil and nasty, but you’d think the Aegis would notice if an ancient dragon had managed to slip into one of their heavens! Either way, we managed to put it down for them, though I’m not sure what would happen to the creature’s soul in that situation. If you die in heaven, does your soul just stay or does it still go elsewhere depending on your nature? I’ll have to pick the chapel priest’s brain about that thought.
Maybe after I’m done with testing this mug.